"Go Carolina"
write-alike by Gayatri

"Go Carolina" write-alike by Gayatri

In elementary school, it seemed like everyone had their bit to say about my personality. “Bossy” was the word they used. Bossy, stubborn, and too loud, despite the boys in my class who were just like me. It was I who was singled out.

Even then, the injustice of it smarted, burrowed deep beneath my skin where it curled up and made its home. That injustice rotted into something like resentment. Something a touch away from jealousy. Something rancid and unhappy, something that bruised me and gnashed at my heels when I strayed too far.

I did not like the other girls in my classes. I thought they were too quiet, too much like everyone wanted them to be. Too much like everything I was not. I hated them and I loved them and I wanted them to like me, all of me.

My grandmother told me ladies sit with their feet together, knees tilted ever so slightly to the side in a coy arraignment of limbs.

I tangle myself now. Let things be messy. Let my voice grow and let it quiet when it wants to.

I’m stubborn that way.