Stage Two: Step 1
Qualities, Passions, Values
Step 1: Who Am I?
What do you want someone to know about you?
Write down about 10 qualities, passions, or values that are fundamental to who you are.
- A quality describes who you are: a deep-seated character trait.
- A passion is what you love: an interest, a hobby, an activity, a cause, etc.
- A value is what you believe: what guides your decisions and actions.
From this list of 10, pick 3-5 that are MOST important to you:
Having trouble? Here are a couple ideas that might help:
Think about how your best friend would describe you, or the person in your family who loves you the most. You can even contact one of these people and ask, “How would you describe me? What would you say are some of my defining qualities?”
This can helpful even if you disagree with what they have to say -- if they say, “You’re so outgoing!” and you think, “But I’m actually so anxious and shy and introverted,” that can initiate a meaningful process of reflection. Ask them why they say that, and try to get closer to a quality or value that feels true to you.
For example, they might say, “Well, you’re always entertaining people and making jokes and the center of attention,” and you might reflect and think, “True, but that’s because I’m so anxious and shy! I’m constantly trying to make things less awkward for everyone!” That might then lead you to identify a quality, passion, or value that’s more accurate than “outgoing,” like maybe a passion for performing, or the quality of empathizing with other people’s social anxieties, or valuing the experience of connection and joy with other people.
Consult a list. Linked below are lists of qualities, values, and passions. They’re by no means comprehensive, but see if any of these particularly resonate with you. You can go through and circle or highlight any that seem to fit, then review and narrow down to the ones that feel most fundamental to you. This isn’t about the person you wish you were, or the things you wish you were passionate about (or plan to one day become passionate about…). Who you are right now is plenty. Focus on and love that person.
Tips from students who have been here:
Maria says: We first of all have to be confident and tell ourselves yes, we are this or that, we are “brave” or “strong.” Because in order to write a whole essay about these values and passions and qualities, we have to understand them and believe them -- know our worth, like many say.